Meyer is 8 weeks old today and until yesterday evening he had been 100% breastfed. But he has been having these episodes lately where I have fed him, changed his diaper, cuddled him and he still cries...and cries. Yesterday morning during one such crying session I decided to give him the precious 4 oz. of breast milk that I had been saving in the freezer for the past few weeks.
He devoured it.
I breastfed him all day yesterday in an attempt to get my supply up. I literally fed him all afternoon for several hours but he was still cranky by 6:00 when we went to pick up Drew. As we drove home I was in tears because I felt that Meyer wasn't eating enough but also wasn't sucking enough to drive up my supply and I didn't know what to do. Much to my dismay I decided to give him some formula yesterday evening and he drank up three ounces very quickly. For the rest of the night he was a very happy baby - letting Drew hold him (which we have been struggling with) and being very cute and alert. We repeated the experiment during the night and then this morning. Even though I had been breastfeeding in between formula feedings he was always much happier after his bottle.
So...I don't know what this means. I don't know if this is just temporary or if we are on our way to formula feeding. I really struggled with giving him formula at all but in then end I need a happy, thriving baby and if that can only be done with formula, or with supplementing with formula, I'm happy to give him what he needs. I've truly grown to love breastfeeding though so I'm hoping we can keep it up for awhile just as a bonding exercise.
Before yesterday I loved looking at my dear boy and thinking how every single part of him has come out of me. In the womb his entire body was created from me and since he was born he has only been fed from what I create. It is hard to let that kind of connection go but perhaps this will help us form new and better connections and he continues to grow and thrive and smile (yes! he has started to smile!) on whatever food he eats.
