Shredder's Boss = My Boss

I have this very distinct memory of watching the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cartoons with the cool looking old Shredder and Shredder’s Boss. I can’t remember the boss’ name but it was this pink, globby brainy looking thing with tentacles that controlled joysticks to move itself around. Sometimes it was in a carrier shaped like a person and sometimes it was just by itself in a glass enclosed container.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I have Shredder’s boss living in my abdomen. Not because my baby has a really annoying voice like that guy, or because he is masterminding evil from inside my tummy, but I just feel as though I am at the whim of this little lima bean.

Take Saturday for instance. It was our day to set up our bridal registries. I woke up with a headache but I was determined to do this as it really needed to be done and I’ve been looking forward to registering for oh, say, 15 years or so. After a bagel and some orange juice we bravely headed into Bed Bath & Beyond and began manically scanning anything that caught our eye. I was actually pleased with Drew’s enthusiasm for the task…he was especially happy when he scanned in the bar code for the griddle!

Towards the end, around the time we were in Bed (we started with Beyond and did Bath in the middle), I felt my blood sugar hit the floor and began to feel really nauseous. We were almost done so I stuck it out and then we took our friend, Mari, home.

It was now 3 o’clock. I had only eaten a bowl of cereal and the bagel that day…a big mistake and I should have known better so I suggested to Drew that we get a Starbucks before we continue and register at Crate & Barrel. I wanted to just throw in the towel but Drew really wanted to stay out so, out we stayed.

Well, sometimes mind over matter works. Sometimes it doesn’t, especially when your mind is trying to overcome Shredder’s boss! Upon parking in the Cherry Creek Parking Garage I promptly got out of the car and threw up, convulsively, for about five minutes. I got it on my shoe, on my pant leg, it was terrible. I don’t know if anyone saw, nor do I care, it was miserable, and awkward. Drew was wonderful and took care of me as best he could, remarking at the end of it all, “I’m glad you puked in Cherry Creek.” *sigh*

So, there you have it. One day of not eating on my schedule and I blow chunks. Pregnancy is so strange….on the one hand it is like you have all this control. There is so much information available about what you should eat, what you should do, how you should be and in some ways it is very empowering. It feels like if you do all of this then certainly you will have a healthy, happy baby. On the other hand, pregnancy feels like you are totally out of control. Even armed with all the information I can get my hands on my body is still surprising me every day. Sometimes I’m nauseous when I shouldn’t be and not nauseous when I should be. My skin pigment is changing…I get weird pains that actually make me happy because it means the baby is growing. While I’m conscious of all this I often feel like I’m just a spectator to it all, just the body that Shredder’s boss is currently occupying. It is weird and mysterious and great all at the same time.